THE OTHER GUYTHE BLACK
BULL
- alpha threads MAX
- serious face ALWAYS
- spreadsheet tabs ∞
- snack breaks ERROR
unofficial parody / no alpha detectedTHE BLACK BULL.
THE BLACK BULL.
MORE LIKE
BULL-ISH.
Ansem has a black bull. We have the non-black bull: same horns, less alpha, more snacks, and a strict no-spreadsheets policy.
0x000000000000000000000000000000000000pump
100% off-brandwen snack?BREAKING: BLACK BULL PARODY SPOTTED✦NON-BLACK BULL REFUSES TO READ ALPHA THREAD✦HORN ENERGY: UNREASONABLY HIGH✦BREAKING: BLACK BULL PARODY SPOTTED
01 / the matchup
Two bulls walk
into a timeline.
One is black. One is not. Only one remembered to bring a lunch.
THE OTHER GUYTHE BLACK
VS
OUR GUYTHE NON-BLACK
BULL
- parody energy MAX
- googly eyes LOUD
- chart literacy 404
- snack breaks ∞
02 / visual evidence
Case files
Photographic proof that the non-black bull has been cooking while everyone else was posting alpha.
FILE 001 / ESCAPE VELOCITY
When the timeline gets too serious, take the rocket.
FILE 002 / UP-ISH
Technically a chart. Spiritually a cartoon.
03 / independent fact check
IS THIS
FINANCIAL
ADVICE?
We asked the bull. The bull stared directly into the camera and slowly backed into the kitchen.
“Should I buy this?”
NOPE.
PARODY THE
TIMELINE.
Follow the only bull account with no alpha, no roadmap, and an aggressively funny X feed.
follow the bull on X